


But I can't stop myself from staring, wishing his hands were mine

by storiesthatmakeus



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Ex Sex, Heartbreak, Love, M/M, Moving On, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 06:46:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12811926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesthatmakeus/pseuds/storiesthatmakeus
Summary: Robert walks in on Aaron and Alex in the cafe and his surprising reaction leads to a confrontation between the former husbands.





	But I can't stop myself from staring, wishing his hands were mine

**Author's Note:**

> *SPOILER KLAXON*
> 
>  
> 
> So if you've been on Twitter/Instagram you'll have seen what I've seen today. (I'm not worried though, just a blip!) Anyhoo, I was inspired by that and the spoiler for the next day which says Aaron goes on the warpath to write this. I think this is one way Robert could react and Aaron actually goes on the warpath because Robert is being nice and Aaron thinks he's up to something. Anyway, hope someone enjoys and it seems realistic-ish!
> 
> Also, life tip: Never leave your phone in the hands of a mischievous child unless you want half a dozen of your works on here to be accidentally deleted, which happened to me last night and I don't have a copy to reupload! Ah well lol

He didn’t know why he did it. Well actually, that was a lie. He did know. He saw the look on Alex’s face as Charity ran her mouth as usual, comments about Robert bloody Sugden being the love of Aaron’s life falling from her lips without a second thought. He saw the hope go out in the other man’s eyes, and he wanted to tell him that Charity was wrong, but words would sound false, so action was needed. He’d be lying if he spoke, but kissing Alex wasn’t lying was it? He could feel the hesitation on the other man’s lips, if he was being honest he could feel the same reluctance on his own, but he kissed him anyway, and it was nice, and felt safe, even if the electricity he was used to was missing.

He hadn’t noticed the door open behind him, but as he pulled away from the man in front of him, he saw him, just staring.

Robert.

He saw the pain on his ex-husband’s face and guilt rippled through him as they locked eyes, but he kept his face stoic. A part of him wanted to run, but as Alex followed his gaze and saw Robert behind them, his questioning gaze strengthened Aaron’s resolve to stay put, so they sat back down. Aaron could see the minuscule change in Robert’s stance as he braced himself to walk past them, but he kept his eyes focused on Alex, ignoring the shivers that settled over him as Robert glided past.

‘’Americano please Bob.’’ He heard behind him, followed by a throat clearing. ‘’To go.’’

Aaron desperately wanted to fill the silence, say anything to feel normal, pretend Robert’s appearance hadn’t affected him, but before he had the chance to think of anything, he felt Robert beside him, and looked up to see an outstretched hand, pointing towards Alex. Aaron supposed it was only Alex’s innate politeness that had him reciprocate the gesture, and he watched with trepidation as the two men shook hands.

‘’Alex, isn’t it, nice to see you.’’

‘’Yea, you too I guess.’’

‘’What do you want Robert?’’ Aaron found himself interjecting.

‘’To apologise.’’

Aaron stared at him in disbelief.

‘’You, apologise?’’ He scoffed.

‘’I do understand the concept Aaron.’’ He smirked back. Looking back to Alex, he continued. ‘’Last time in the pub, I was out of order, and I’m sorry.’’

‘’It’s forgotten.’’ Alex replied easily and Robert nodded.

‘’He must really like ya.’’ Robert said, sounding surprisingly kind. 

‘’Yea?’’ Alex asked, looking to Aaron for confirmation, but he was too flabbergasted by the scene unfolding in front of him to do anything other than grimace, which fortunately Alex didn’t pick up on.

‘’He was never into public displays, so you must be special.’’ Bob appearing with Robert’s coffee interrupted proceedings briefly, which Robert accepted with a sad smile.

‘’I’ll see you both around, look after him.’’ He said it without a hint of sarcasm or venom, and after receiving an accepting nod from Alex, he left.

‘’Well, that went better than last time.’’ Alex sighed with a smile as he settled further into his chair, his voice barely filtering through Aaron’s foggy brain.

‘’What? Oh yea…guess it did.’’ He managed to answer, his eyes still on the door, unable to tear his gaze away from the sight of the man he loved walking away.

 

 

At first, Robert thought the hammering was in his head, the endless lines of figures from the Home James accounts in front of him swirling around and giving him a migraine, until he realised it was actually the front door. Pulling it open slowly, he was stunned to find Aaron on the other side, looking pissed off, to put it mildly.

‘’Vic in?’’ He asked snappily.

‘’No, at work.’’

‘’Good.’’ With that, Aaron pushed past him into the living room, and Robert followed to find him glowering, simmering rage radiating off him.

‘’So what’s up?’’ He asked hesitantly.

‘’What’s up?’’ Aaron repeated incredulously. ‘’Well for a start, you can tell me what the hell you’re playing at?’’

‘’I’m sorry?’’

‘’Yea, doing a lot of that lately, apologising.’’

‘’Aaron, what are you on about?’’

‘’Yesterday.’’ Aaron retorted. ‘’With Alex, what was that, you giving us your blessing? Because we didn’t ask for it, and we definitely don’t need it.’’

‘’I know you don’t. I was trying to be civil Aaron.’’

‘’Exactly. That’s not you. What happened to the old Robert Sugden, the one with the smart mouth and vicious comebacks?’’

‘’Well those attributes haven’t done much for me recently, have they?’’ Robert fired back, but his voice lacked its usual heat.

‘’So what, you’re trying the Mr. Nice Guy act now, because we both know that’s not you.’’

‘’Well maybe it’s time I tried not being me.’’ Aaron scoffed. ‘’What are you even doing here Aaron?’’

‘’I’ve moved on, and I’ve come here to tell you to stay away from Alex and me. ’’

‘’That was the idea Aaron, you really didn’t need to come here and tell me that.’’

‘’Wow, so I'm meant to believe you'll willingly stay away? You’re definitely not the Robert Sugden I knew.’’

‘’The Robert Sugden you knew broke your heart and his own.’’ Robert replied solemnly, taking Aaron by surprise and making another ripple of guilt pass through him. ‘’It’s time you moved on. If you're happy, I'm happy. So maybe you should go now, go back to Alex.’’

Robert turned away briefly and Aaron took the opportunity to breathe in, clearing the tears that were prickling his eyes. When Robert turned back, he was holding out Aaron’s jumper, the one he had given him to wear the week before in the Mill.

‘’Here, take this with you. Sorry, I never got the chance to wash it, but it’s best you take it now.’’

Aaron took his jumper off Robert, their fingers brushing as the clothing passed between them. As he held it in his grip, he could smell it; Robert’s scent was all over it, and flashes of lazy Sunday mornings at the breakfast table, his husband dressed in nothing but boxers and one of Aaron’s many hoodies flashed before him.

He glanced up at Robert who was watching him curiously, and any remaining vestiges of his resolve shattered. His brain didn’t have time to protest before he was flinging the jumper to one side, pulling Robert towards him and crushing their lips together. He could feel the other man hesitating, and it reminded him of Alex, but the guilt he felt at that memory was nothing compared to the crushing ache at the loss of contact as Robert pulled back, searching his eyes.

‘’Aaron?’’

‘’Don’t say anything, just kiss me.’’

So he did. The electricity was still there, even after months of trying to pretend it wasn’t. Robert pushed his lips fiercely against Aaron’s, and they stumbled backwards together towards the couch, where Robert lay him down gently. Aaron fumbled underneath him; searching for his belt buckle and working it open quickly, shoving Robert’s trousers and underwear down before doing the same with his own.

‘’I need to get…’’ Robert mumbled between kisses, but Aaron wrapped his arms tighter around him.

‘’No.’’

‘’But…’’

‘’I need to feel you…just you.’’ Aaron moaned breathily, and that was all Robert needed. Working him open with his fingers quickly, he pulled Aaron’s legs up and around him before sinking slowly in, the groans of pleasure from the man beneath him reverberating around his brain like an orchestra as he continued to kiss and nip at his husband’s collarbone. He rocked him back and forth on his little sister’s tiny couch for as long as his willpower could hold out, until Aaron pleaded with him for release and they came within seconds of each other.

 

Afterwards, as they lay on the couch together, Robert’s hands in Aaron’s hair. He could feel himself dozing off, but was roused by the sudden empty space beside him. Blinking himself into awareness, he saw Aaron getting dressed.

‘’Aaron, where are you…?’’

‘’This was a mistake, I’m sorry.’’ Came the reply, but Aaron wouldn’t meet his gaze as he spoke.

‘’No, Aaron you don’t mean that, please.’’ Robert begged, but Aaron continued to dress.

‘’I do, we shouldn’t have done that.’’ Aaron argued, but his voice was heavy.

‘’No, you started this, you came here and you kissed me, you can’t walk away.’’ Robert pleaded.

‘’And I’m finishing it. Forget this happened Robert.’’

With that, he was gone, spare jumper in hand, the door slamming behind him, Robert left with nothing but angry tears to keep him company.

 

Aaron felt the click of the door behind him, and he rested his head against it, just for the briefest of moments before walking away from Keepers. He only let the tears of frustration fall once he was in the safety of his own home. He angrily flung his jumper into the washing machine, and nearly washed it there and then by itself, but his finger hovered over the start button. Eventually he pulled it back out, and he knew then that it wouldn’t be until the last traces of Robert Sugden had disappeared from its fabric that it would finally be washed once more.


End file.
